Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Gears Of War Crimes Court Finds 2006 Locust Horde Massacre Justified

JACINTO PLATEAU, SERA—An independent group holding a Gears of War Crimes Tribunal at the Coalition of Ordered Governments headquarters Wednesday to assess whether Delta Squad members Colonel Hoffman, Marcus Fenix, and Dominic Santiago had committed atrocities against the Locust Horde found the three super-soldiers' actions justified. "All actions related to attacking civilian targets such as the Imulsion pumping station were absolutely necessary, otherwise the defendants would not have been able to reach the elevator leading to the campus courtyard, which was essential to advance to the next level," presiding judge Hildreth Crespin said. "Nevertheless, because the super-soldiers openly used the derogatory and hurtful term 'grub' to refer to the Locust Horde, we recommend they seek bestial sensitivity training." Critics of the verdict, who felt Delta Squad should be held accountable for detonating a Lightmass bomb that killed millions of innocent members of the Locust Horde, claimed the men circumvented punishment by using a secret cheat code at the beginning of the trial.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Everyday Normal Guy

You've probably all seen this, but if not...

GTA4 is apparently quite hot.

It's looking like GTA4 may end up ousting "The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time" as the #1 highest ranked game of all time on

I must acquire it so I can get lost in a month-long gaming binge. That's the cure for what ails me... the panacea... the answer to all my problems... the warm I've been searching for, so to speak, as it were and such and what have you.

BTW I just got back from Orlando Florida where I explored the effects of drinking copious quantities of Jack & Coke in a high-heat, high-humidity environment while watching the Lakers and eating cheese with a comely female.

Friday, April 25, 2008

the dirtiest high ever

Q. What is
-worse than huffing on a balloon or a rag,
-worse than snorting powder mixed with lint off a carpet,
-worse than downing 4 bottles of cough syrup or 2 packs of dramamine,
-and worse than a massive dose of ephedrine and caffeine?

A. Jenkem

Tuesday, April 22, 2008


Also, I'm posting on my blog again...if anyone cares.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008


Talk about unclean. Let's say you're working with a dialog object, in this case subclassed from CDialog like so

CBitmapDlg : public CDialog{
// some stuff

You instantiate it somewhere like this:

CBitmapDlg dlg(this);

Now, just for kicks let's take a look at the default constructor. It goes something like this:

CBitmapDlg::CBitmapDlg(CWnd* pParent /*=NULL*/)
: CDialog(CBitmapDlg::IDD, pParent)


Hmmm.... it looks like the parameter being passed to the constructor is a pointer to the parent window (or NULL if the parameter is omitted). Very good. That might come in handy, but just to make sure what exactly does the CDialog constructor do with this parameter? Well, it does this:

CDialog::CDialog(UINT nIDTemplate, CWnd* pParentWnd)
// extra code omitted for clarity
m_pParentWnd = pParentWnd;

Wow, the CDialog constructor stores the pointer in a member variable called m_pParentWnd. It looks to me like that's supposed to be a pointer to the parent window. Good. So you instantiate your object inside of another window (of whatever type your heart desires) like this:

CBitmapDlg dlg(this);

You pass the this pointer, as you want your window to be the parent of the dialog. So far, everything is great. Then you do something silly like this inside your CBitmapDlg class

CWnd *pParent = GetParent();
// I want to do something to my parent window, in this case send a message
pParent ->SendMessage(WM_SOMEMESSAGE, (WPARAM) 0, (LPARAM) 0);


You try to send your parent window a message, but it just isn't getting it. I mean, what the fuck? Where's the message going? So you fire up the debugger, take a look at what's going on, and discover this:

GetParent() does NOT return a pointer to the parent window specified during object creation. WHAT??? I mean, you've used GetParent() many times with no problems, what gives? Apparently, with dialogs, somebody decided to do something screwy. With regular windows GetParent() seems to actually return a pointer to the parent window, but with dialogs it decides to return a pointer to the main window. According to the documentation, it will do this if you pass NULL for the parent window. But you didn't pass NULL, did you? You gave it a valid pointer, and still it returns a pointer to the main window. What does all of this lead to? It leads to this absurdity:

CWnd *pParent = GetParent(); // get your pointer using GetParent()

CWnd* pParentX = CDialog::m_pParentWnd // access member variable directly

// pParent != pParentX


You see, the member variable m_pParentWnd, which we supposed stored a pointer to the parent window, does indeed store a pointer to the parent window. But this is not the same pointer returned by a call to GetParent(). WHAT THE FUCK??? FUCK YOU WHOEVER DID THIS! FUCK YOU!

Hopefully all of you can learn from this and not have to find it out the hard way. Which I did. Which I'm pissed about.

Want to hear the new Portishead album?

This site is pretty clean. Its one of the last remaining streaming media sites not yet blocked by my work filters. I discovered it looking for new Morrissey songs.

Comes out on CD in a couple weeks:

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Monday, April 07, 2008

I Do Not Repent (for no one in particular)

I Know
I stole from you Everything
I could
You want an apology?
You're not getting one

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Revenge of Teh Ghey

Lo, we hardly knew that fierce fighter, Matthew Q,
Who could DXM to plateau four, then five, then blast right through.

A mountain of man with deft and sterile hands,
That could code you in a corner and own at Wii darts too.

With his own bottle of wine, the demon arrives.
On LSD, he got some knives.
And had a talk with a being made of rock on the topic of ending lives.

So much power to attain, with that inventive Lydon brain
That will bring to all a steady fall through presidential reign.