Thursday, December 04, 2008

Some Random Ridiculum

Today I read a story about how Hawaii is the 2nd healthiest state in the Union (Vermont is #1 and Louisiana is #50), but that's mainly because its hardly a state at all, and is in large dominated by lean & toned Asian folk.

The story itself paled in comparison to the first reader comment. Usually reader commentary is just people trying to demonstrate how miserable and uneducated they are to the world, but occasionally you'll get the comedic zinger, which sometimes even rivals the output of professional comedy writers. In this day and age you really have to sort through the filth to find nuggets of wisdom and humor, like this one:

State rankings

"I am proud of Louisiana for not being inhibited in their eating. You never hear of hunger strikes in Louisiana prisons. Down south trans-fat is considered a nutrient, not a poison. We have even considered putting it in vitamin pills. I am sure those healthy diet, narrow blood vessel, Northerners would keel over in no time with our Louisiana diet. Fried is fabulous, let the Californians have their fat free flounder. Louisiana will be flooded with research money for obesity and cardiovascular disease an important economic stimulus in tough times. Obesity should not be viewed as a drag on health care but as a strategic fat reserve to be used in time of famine, similar to our strategic oil reserves. When the lord punishes our inequity with famine, it will be Louisiana that will survive and they will not even need manna unless it is deep fried. A new chosen group will emerge as predicted by the movie Wall-E. "

2 comments:

marchhare14 said...

My recent viewing of Wall-E made that comment all the more brilliant.

For some reason, though I'd normally be annoyed by this sort of thing, your Hawaiian Pride is endering. For example, if you were living in Texas, I'd probably want to make you dead if you constantly sang its praises. But maybe that's because Texas sucks.

I also just read an interesting study that found that Republicans are more fearful in general than Democrats. I think that's kind of interesting, but I also think that we didn't need a study to tell us that.

marchhare14 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.