Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Texan = Pussy


Q: Why are right-wingers a far bigger terrorist threat than al Qaeda?

A: They actually have a shot at causing the country (as we know it anyway) to collapse:

First off, Texas will NEVER "secede from the union," because beneath the oversized and faux-cowboy exteriors, they're actually just a bunch of whiny, spoiled pussies.

How do I know this? If they weren't, they'd fucking do it already, instead of bitching and writing articles about it, trying to gain votes and public standing from it. The economy's not getting any worse, and the president's not getting any whiter, so if you want independence so bad, make your move now, Texas fags.
...
Nevermind the fact that supporting secession is the most unpatriotic thing a citizen can do (worse than terrorism, because where terrorism is simply anarchic, secession implies an active, coordinated effort to overthrow the government), you're a pussy ontop of a traitor if you don't make good on your threats.

Texan Pussies at work.

Really, I know that the right-tards who are most vocal about such fuckingstupidity are really just doing so to attract attention to themselves or sell a product, but are they even just the slightest bit aware of the mad fucking irony of their situation? I bet most of them still think they're "patriots" too...

God, people who are so easily manipulated and stupid should be forced to get the word "stupid" tatooed on their forearm, so that way not only is it easy for others to identify and avoid them, but when they do something really fucking moronic and wonder how they screwed things up so bad, they can just look at their arm and say, "oh yeah, that's how, I'm fucking stupid!"

Well, there are a few upsides to Texas leaving the union:

1. The IQ of the average American will go up 10 points.
2. We'll once again be behind China in executions per capita.
3. George W. Bush will finally be kicked out of the country.
4. We can make Canada the 50th state!
5. Or, we can go to war with Texas, reclaim it, and weed out all the aforementioned dumbfucks in the process, leaving it a more respectable place to live in.

3 comments:

marchhare14 said...

Cy, you are genius and I love everything you just posted.

marchhare14 said...

I already hated Texas and you've given me many more reasons to maintain that position. Yes!

Huge Larry said...

Militant Texans are going to find this blog post and hunt us all down.

They'll probably use blunderbusses to separate our legs from our bodies, then they'll feed said limbs to poultry.

Boiled "leg of liberal" makes for delicious and nutritious chicken feed.