Thursday, May 07, 2009

Body of a Savior For Only $9.99

So, does the product make you skinny and unkempt??
Kind of reminds me of the whole Phiten phenomenon... I love how they simply say, "Patent is acquired" rather than actually explaining to you how the hell wearing a wristband filled with metal particles suspended in water is "good for your health."
Have you guys heard about that? They make bracelets with some form of ionized titanium or something in the middle that supposedly increases the body's blood flow, to your wrist or something... of course making you smarter, stronger and better looking.
I'd rather just wear a Rosary, they're much cheaper. Plus they channel the Catholic God which is much more powerful a fictional force than Phiten.


  1. We need to produce and market Jesus-Friendly condoms. They are designed to immediately break after insertion, but in such a way that the girl doesn't notice.

    Essentially, it fools the girl into believing you are using a condom, and allows you, as a man, to experience the raw-dog sensation while also remaining on good footing with the lord.

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  3. "I can lay it down because I am correct"

    Thats sounds like something one of us would say if we were loosely imitating Beck.