Thursday, May 14, 2009

Wetzel's Hurtzels

(makes me beg for a time machine so I could correct my mistake of trying a Wetzel Dog)
So a couple weeks ago we had a new Wetzel's Pretzels open in our posh outdoor mall's foodcourt, which is easily one of the best and most international foodcourts known to mang. There's a mediocre version of just about every lunch product you can think of, and then some original classics which transcend mediocrity.

Then there's Wetzel's Pretzels, which after trying for the first time today, I'm no longer considering to be food. Its technically more along the lines of a salt, grease and filth wholesaler. Sure their products look decent in the pictures... Well okay, not decent, but like wholesome American grub at least.

Yet instead, to my chagrin, it was absolute shite! Nearly inedible balls of salt, grease and dough, and that's about it. I think their whole business is to prey off the weaknesses of fat Americans. They cater directly to people's dirtiest desires, and I think the only time I would ever go back there is if I was in an irrational, helpless and irresponsible state of mind... Maybe if the world was going to end in 2 minutes and I wanted one last grease rush sensation before I left this world... Any longer than that and forget it, I wouldn't want to have to deal with the indigestion... A hard lesson learned.

Another satisfied customer!


  1. This was a very well-formatted post.

  2. That reminds me of my Wienerschnitzel experience.

    I ate there once and only once, and I swear it gave me some kind of month-long virus. I'm not sure if I ever fully recovered. I still like to blame any health problems on that filthy meat I ate there.