Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Ideas for Useless Inventions

On my daily walk through the Ala Moana shopping center (the biggest outdoor mall in the world I'm told) I started thinking, what if they made escalators that moved way too fast. That would be sweet. You'd have to time your jump on and off the escalator just right or risk falling down a rapidly moving flight of stairs. Then at the end you have to time your jump off or else you get tripped up and go flying forward.

They should really just have giant zip lines that go from one end of the mall to the other, and that are under a "use-at-your-own-risk" policy. Meaning, if you don't strap yourself in properly and fall a couple mall levels then oh well its your own damn fault.

The mall should also open a Rape Store that sells products to people who are interested in rape or being raped.


  1. Interesting you mentoined the ziplines. I was just discussing the practicality of ziplines as transportation with my boss. As long as people remembered to strap themselves in (dan hoeffer im looking in your direction) it might actually work. And it would make getting around fun. But then the flying cars would get caught in the lines and chaos would ensue. Also, it would only really work in areas with lots of local elevation differences.

  2. yes, they are rather one-way only. that's why you need the super fast escalators to get back up.