Wednesday, December 30, 2009

A Man's Wants versus His Needs

Sometimes in life the best thing a man can do for himself is figure out how to separate his wants from his basic needs. Engaging in this practice on a semi-regular basis will serve to help prioritize one's goals, which is likely useful, because like 4 in 5 Mericans you may find yourself overwhelmed by the amount of decisions that go into successfully maintaining an electrical charge on your boid.

Here are a few examples that I have come up with for myself in an attempt to illustrate the difference between wants and needs. Remember, they are personal examples which come from my own world experiences, and your experience with reality may have differing results.*

I want unlimited, piping hot tang, but I need a warm crevasse.

I want to be as buff as Bane, but I need regular-sized balls.

I want to get fi-fi-fizaded, but I need to be destroyed.

I want badmen beatdowns, but I need outboard soundcards.

I want to suck your blood, but I need to be indoors during the day.

I want to be free from AIDS, but I need to lose 40 lbs before the end of January.

I want to create a brain-computer interface so I can keep my brain alive inside a compubot after my body fails, but I need a bunch of shit and technology that I don't have so fuck it.

I want your loving baby, but baby I need you now.

*BTF Records may not be held responsible for shitty realities.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

more externalized cockulary

this track was designed to destroy Wednesdays.

Cyrusfx - Sir Dubs A Lot

its funny how if I listen to my own songs repeatedly (i.e., when I'm putting the "finishing touches" on them, and the period right afterwards), I start thinking they're better than they actually are... its quite possible i've been brainwashing myself to think my tracks are supreme over mere mortal radio tracks... but no matter where they actually stand, i've decided i'm not gonna stop composing filth.

its interesting how mixing a track is kind of like making an ice sculpture or a hamburger. you start with a raw block of audio that is your original recording and slowly tweak away at it to make it into something that sounds tasteful. if you have a shit block of ice or hamburger meat then there's only so much you can do with it. my resolution for the new year is to come up with some cleaner beef...

mele kalikimaka peeps.. im gonna try to come back II Cali again sometime in the spring. we should make it a to-do.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Name that Tor

Q: What rising phenom television actor tucked these credits under their belt in 2009? No cheating!

  1. "Parks and Recreation" .... 110-Year-Old Man (1 episode, 2009)
    ... aka Parks and Rec (USA: promotional abbreviation)
    - The Fourth Floor (2009) TV episode .... 110-Year-Old Man
  2. "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" .... Harley (1 episode, 2009)
    ... aka Jimmy Kimmel (Australia)
    - Episode #8.7 (2009) TV episode .... Harley
  3. "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien" .... Brett Favre (1 episode, 2009)
    - Episode #1.51 (2009) TV episode .... Brett Favre
  4. Robbin' in da Hood (2009) (V) .... Dirty Old Man
  5. The Hunted: Terms of Extermination (2009) (V) .... Coroner

Hint: we've mentioned him on this blog.

I want sweat-activated sweet sauce delivered directly to my mouth hole.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Feel the Flow

The choicest of hops.


When are you going to be in SB, and what day was it that you needed access to audio gear?

Thursday, December 10, 2009

NFL Picks (of note) - week 14

My faves are in bold.

Cleveland (+9) at Pittsburgh: Steelers all the way, baby. They may have been cursed with a touch of the teh sukh in the past month but if there's one team that's worse its the smelly Browns (who have lost their last 7 games in a row; now that's what I call a shit streak). Besides I have a Rothlesburger jersey so it doesn't make much sense to root for the Browns. How could you not root for a man named Rothlesburger, anyway?

New Orleans (no line) at Atlanta: This is the big one for me. Got 3 big players on N.O., including Drew Brees, whom I was considering taking out to put in Peyton Manning for. I don't understand why this game has no line (unless I don't understand the concept in general) because it seems to me that the Saints will probably beat the Falcons harder than the Colts will beat Denver. I want the Saints to take it all actually cuz that would be some big underdog domage.

Denver (+8) at Indianapolis: The Broncs are going to try to give the Colts a run for their money. The question is whether I should leave in Wayne, which might be a good idea if he isn't double-covered the whole game. I suppose its possible the Colts might lose (they are division rivals?), but its doubtful.

Cincinnati (+7) at Minnesota: Well I recently picked up Ochocinco so I am going to root for him personally but most likely the Vikings will come out on top. I smell another season for Favre, granted he can keep up this momentum through the rest of the season (and post-season?).

Arizona (-3) at San Francisco: I don't care about either of these teams but I have Frank Gore as my RB right now, so go San Francisco.

Carolina (+13) at New England: OK, so I have to make at least 1 big upset prediction in order for this to be the slightest bit controversial, in which case I will take the Panths over the Pats. Its true, Carolina ain't that great, but hell, the Pats have lost to the Jets and the Dolphins in recent weeks so anything is possible. Mainly, like half of America, I want to see Tom Brady go down. Again.

I am currently up 3 wins in a row over the opposition, and a win this week will clench my victory (unless we end up going by adding up total points). I suppose I should lose on purpose just to keep me interested in watching football at all.

I still can't get over the arbitrary way in which people choose their favorite teams. It is utterly arbitrary, so I don't understand the great pride which people take in "their" teams. Its not like they had anything to do with their success or failure. That's why I can't really get in to sports in general. (That, and I don't really find them interesting sans football). The upside is, I can change my "favorite" team whenever I want. Go Saints!

Yo Co

Can you take this picture of Wayne and Garth and filth it up with photoshop? Maybe put horns on them and make them santanic looking...and other random stuff.

Top Ten Sega Genesis Games Featuring Sonic the Hedgehog, 1991-1996

Admit it: you wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if that was the title of an article legitimately posted on a gaming website. And, you know what? I don’t blame you. We’ve seen crazier lists that were real: Top ten video game moments; Top ten times Mario hit his head on a block of bricks; Top ten computer generated breasts (or would that be top twenty?). The list goes on and on, and while it’s easy to write-off the glut of these “Top Ten Lists” as a simple product of laziness and lack of gaming news, the real reasons are much more compelling.
Human beings are notorious for their desire, or rather need, to categorize the world around them. Early philosophers, such as Democritus, divided the world up into four separate elements. With the advent of the Christian Church, everything from sins to saints became the subject of lists and hierarchies.
In ancient Rome, a bestselling tablet, The Top Ten Hand Held Weapons, nearly started a massive war in A.D. 23 when Cicero of Corinth had the gall to place the morning star at number two on the list, one place higher than the flaming morning star. Can you believe that guy?
With advancements in science came the classification of elements, planetary bodies, and natural forces. Most famously, Carl Linnaeus categorized all living organisms, setting down the foundation for Biology and an unsettling number of Pokemon. The stubborn Linnaeus attempted to argue that dolphins were better than lions. He was then thrown to the lions.
Perhaps there’s an even simpler reason these lists exist: to start fights. In general, if something will cause an uproar, no matter how insignificant the people causing the uproar (the uproarians, if you will), it will be popular. People want something to debate; they want to be told that their opinions are correct, and that there really will never be a game as good as Final Fantasy VII again.
Articles like these also represent a win-win situation for the author as very few readers will flinch when Ocarina of Time tops the list for the 52,000th time. However, when the author in question places an obscure racing game from the Sega Dreamcast at number three, readers will balk and complain about its placement. In essence, the author can confirm comforting “truths” while simultaneously starting an irrelevant debate that just might bring more traffic to a website.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009


The Quiksilver in Memory of Eddie Aikau, Fueled by Monster Energy

these aren't my pictures, but this is pretty clean. from today's Eddie Aikau big wave competition on the north shore... i saw some big crazy waves with no one surfing on them. i thought about getting in but i didn't want to die. unlike this guy.

The Quiksilver in Memory of Eddie Aikau, Fueled by Monster Energy

I wonder if the water wall got him, or all of them! Those guys must have giant sacks.

Monday, December 07, 2009

Cody/Josh Lost Chat

Damn, son. I was so right about Locke’s father being the con man who fucked Sawyer’s mom, thus causing Sawyer’s dad to end his wife’s life, followed by his own, thus making James into Sawyer. It’s raining outside, and the world of Lost coupled with Steinlager and fresh ciabata bread from Trader Joe’s is so much better than the world I will be forced to inhabit tomorrow. I know you understand.

I need to meet your baby sometime. Maybe I’ll get married to my girlfriend Sharon and knock her up in the next few years so that I can have my own baby who will be bigger than your baby and we can make them fight each other in a pit.

We will drink while we watch them fight... then we'll watch Lost.