Sunday, March 29, 2009

Now we begin descent...

weak.sauce.org.biz

What would you do with a Sunday hangover?
What would you do with a Sunday hangover?
What would you do with a Sunday hangover, earli-ee in the mornin?

Walk to the Merc and retrieve your Camry.
Walk to the Merc and retrieve your Camry.
Walk to the Merc and retrieve your Camry, durka durka durka.

Drunk as fuck...

Here's some filth from long ago...


Does it suck?

All cast asunder.
These bright ones are lost, these dim ones found.
Cement the under.
With footing so strong, who won’t look down?

Don’t look down.
Head craned sideways.
Eyes on the stars you want to see.
Oh, where will I be?

Saturday, March 28, 2009

The slow deep burn was hot and low...

Work is so horrible right now, and my life as a whole is so pointless and retarded.

What's the best drug I can take to make me feel better fast?

Thursday, March 26, 2009

This is not about crack babies...

...sort of. I was gonna post the first pic that came up on a 'crack baby' google image search but it didnt quite work out. Also the timing on that topic is off anyway so here is something much more significant.

I've been blown away by the unadulterated mediocrity of 'cutting edge' indie music i sample through my datapipe. Does pitchfork have any talent criteria for their little band promos and things (which are actually really well done)? If I grow out all my hairs and move to montana and wear a black leather jacket, will i get all that attention too? So much vibe and folksy-rockstar coolness, no substance. Yet they all come off as 'authentic'. And dam, whats with all this overepetative lofi droney crap. Or boring open chords under shoegazer meets the yeah yeah yeahs style vocals. Or bands that sound like interpol only not as interesting. Also, too many bands dont think they need a bass player.

I cant find anything i like. I want to be excited by some hot new shit. That never happens anymore. I know there are badass bands out there with awesome shit to laydown but there not in my ear and that sucks. I dont want to listen to the same stuff ive been listening to for years. But i dont know what else to do. I guess I'll just grow bitter and more technically proficient on my instrument.


What we need (as always) is a rennassaince. Keep your arppegios hot my friends, and dont forget that your right hand is the cake, the left is icing.


Here, have a hot dog.

I'm gonna do it...

...I'm gonna post something good. I dont know what it is yet, but I feel this post must preface it for some reason... here I go.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Cody, how do you feel about this list?

There are several episodes on here that I haven't seen, but I probably loved "Blood on the Scales" more than any other episode I've seen.

Warning - Spoilers galore:

Best 'Battlestar Galactica' Episodes
All this has happened before ... but will it happen again?

The critically-acclaimed series 'Battlestar Galactica' draws to a close tonight, when fans go on one last fantastic, fraught journey with Admiral William Adama (Edward James Olmos) and President Laura Roslin (Mary McDonnell) and their frenemies, the Cylons.

Before the series finale airs, here's a look back at our favorite episodes from the show's six-year run.

1. '33'
(Season 1, Episode 1; aired Jan. 14, 2005)
Aside from the miniseries, the episode that started it all. Suspenseful, claustrophobic and fraught with drama, this was probably the best pilot of any series ever. So say we all.

2. 'Kobol's Last Gleaming: Part II'
(Season 1, Episode 13; aired April 1, 2005)
Adama staged a coup! Starbuck engaged in a wicked fight with a Six! Boomer discovered she was a Cylon! Boomer then shot Adama in the stomach -- twice! Jaw, floor. Enough said.


3. 'Blood on the Scales'
(Season 4, Episode 16; aired March 6, 2009)
After a 'BSG' panel held at the United Nations earlier this week, I told Mary McDonnell that if she didn't get an Emmy nomination this year, it was war. As Roslin said, "Do you hear me? I will use every cannon, every bomb, every bullet, every weapon I have down to my own eyeteeth to end you. I swear it! I'm coming for all of you!"

4. 'Lay Down Your Burdens: Part II'
(Season 2, Episode 20; aired March 10, 2006)
Roslin tried to fix the election! With Tigh's help! Baltar became president! The fleet settled on New Caprica! Baltar woke up a year later! The Cylons showed up and started an occupation! Jaw and floor were now BFFs.

5. 'Unfinished Business'
(Season 3, Episode 9; aired Dec. 1, 2006)
Boxing cures all. Also, love any scene where Adama and Roslin toke up.

6. 'Revelations'
(Season 4, Episode 12; aired June 13, 2008)
Devastating scene #1: A sobbing Adama tears apart his quarters after learning his friend and XO is a Cylon. Devastating scene #2: The fleet finds Earth and discovers their future is a barren, nuked wasteland.

7. 'Crossroads: Part II'
(Season 3, Episode 20; aired March 25, 2007)
As Baltar's trial came to a chilling end, we learned the identities of four of the final five Cylons. Oh, and Starbuck returned from the dead.

8. 'Scar'
(Season 2, Episode 15; aired Feb. 3, 2006)
Sign us up for any hour revolving around Starbuck, but this one showed her at her best (badass pilot) and her worst (self-destructive, frakked-up).

9. 'Pegasus'
(Season 2, Episode 10; aired Sept. 23, 2005)
One of the great things about 'BSG' was how it turned things around on us. In this case, the appearance of another battlestar should've been cause for joy. But as we found out, those who appear to be friends can quickly become foes.

10. 'Flight of the Phoenix'
(Season 2, Episode 9; aired Sept. 16, 2005)
Even in the bleakest of circumstance, everybody needs a little hope and inspiration, and in this case, it came in the form of Tyrol's stealth fighter.

Honorable mentions: The miniseries, 'Someone to Watch Over Me' and 'Home: Part I and II'

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

White Boys

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Battlestar Galactica: The end of an era.

It’s finally over--the best science fiction television series I’ve ever seen, and quite possibly the best television series regardless of genre.

It’s always sad when things you care about come to an end. It reminds me of the last episode of STTNG, or finishing the Foundation Trilogy. You always want more time with the characters. You’ve become attached to that world and you don’t want to let it go.

I know I’m big loser for gushing about this so much, but the truth is that my real life is so non-fascinating and unfulfilling right now that I find solace in the exploits and adventures of fictional characters.

I also find solace in the warm embrace of the red, red vino... so it’s time to hit some more of that.

Josh, when is your youngling due? I promise not to eat your baby even though stem cells taste good.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Seth McFarlane & Adam Carolla analyze Coldplay

Since I got an iPod for Christmas I've finally been getting into the whole podcast thing. My current subscriptions include:

-The Rush Limbaugh Lie of the Day
-Dubstep.fm Podcast
-Mr. Goodie 2 Shoes Disco Showcase
-The Ricky Gervais Guide to Life
-Soul Champion Sessions

and now,

-The Adam Carolla Podcast

He's pretty funny, usually has an interesting guest on, but I like this one in particular because we all share the same opinion about Coldplay (me, Seth & Adam, we're like 3 peas in a podula), they get into it within the opening 2 minutes. Yeah I know you guys probably don't all agree but if we did "then the world would be a boring place," as they say. The rest of it is pretty good too:

http://cioffi.cachefly.net/2009.03.17ACP.mp3

(ps: I am now the proud pwner of www.tehsux0rz.com; I'm thinking about starting a new blog where I write about things that suck. I'm going to attempt to keep a theme of humor running tho because plain cynicism is boring, but funny, insightful cynicism is Win. I wanted to buy www.tehwin.com so I could blog about things that were good, but somebody's had it registered since 2002."

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

USB Man





... Now only if the USB drive contained his thoughts and memories, they could be uploaded to an artificial- or cyber-brain and he could live forever. Its that simple you guys cmon what are we waiting for.


Sunday, March 15, 2009

Fortunately Indeed


"Fortunately, I'm adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug, uh, regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber."


Friday, March 13, 2009

This is the most popular story on the web right now

According to the Alexa Hot URLs:

Radiohead's Thom Yorke Schools Miley Cyrus & Kanye West on Humility

http://music.yahoo.com/read/news/61985920

When Radiohead refused to meet Miley Cyrus and Kanye West at the Grammy Awards last month, the starlet threatened to "ruin" them and the rapper refused to stand for their performance...

She continued on in disbelief about the Thom Yorke band's lack of interest in meeting the Hannah Montana, admitting she was so disappointed about the diss, she left the show early.
"I left 'cause I was so upset," she said. "I wasn't going to watch. Stinkin' Radiohead! I'm gonna ruin them, I'm going to tell everyone."

During the taping for his episode of VH1's Storytellers, West complained that Yorke snubbed him as well.

"When he performed at the Grammys, I sat the f--k down," the rapper said.

----

... And now my Friday afternoon can end on a positive note, as I now feel vindicated about my musical compass.

----

Monday Update - from another article:

Miley says the Radiohead dis was a huge disappointment to her, “I was so upset.” But Coldplay exceeded her expectations. “Coldplay was so nice. Chris Martin hung out with me the whole time,” she gloated.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

SIQ Cat rocks the MPC




DJ Nomadd of the Audible Lab Rats

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Hey, Wingnuts... You know you love Joe Lyles



Sorry to keep with the political nonsense, but this guys tight. I found him through his podcast the Rush Limbaugh Lie of the Day. I don't know what I like more: his boxer dancing, the fact that by all standards of stereotypes he should be a guy who agrees with Rush Limbaugh, or his bayou aloha shirt. As far as Hawaiian shirts go, that one is extremely tight.

Stewart responds to Cramer responding to Stewart



Pure brilliance. My latest newfangled theory, on how to save the economy: label dishonesty as a mental disorder, which requires therapy, medication and possibly even institutionalization. People like Bernie Madoff cause much, much much more damage than any schizophrenic I ever met did.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

I don't have a girlfriend


I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.


Mitch Hedberg everyone. Give it up for him.


Saturday, March 07, 2009

Gay guy reviews Watchmen... lol...

"The movie's not so subtle homoerotic content will draw in gay viewers as it did Snyder's 300 but 163 minutes is an awfully long time to expect a lone blue cock to remain entertaining -- especially one that never gets hard."

Thursday, March 05, 2009

"If I'd followed CNBC's advice I'd have a million dollars today...

... provided I started with a hundred million dollars."