Friday, November 26, 2010

James Bond vs. the Alien Dillholes

He made a fucking movie

The real damage begins at about :50, you might want to skip to then.
Might not be as funny without the context of the entire movie, but this is prolly the best SNL movie in a while.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

New Quotes

That endful night, Pieter Osgood shouldn't have reclined in his comfy futon so easily, but he was unaware of the 1k lb. gorilla in the room, which was Bane, who then proceeded to mash Pieter's cranium with his bare hand.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Awesome story.

Wis. man accused of shooting TV over Palin dance

When Palin, the 20-year-old daughter of tea party favorite Sarah Palin, began her routine, Cowan jumped up and began swearing, saying something like "The (expletive) politics." His wife said he was upset that a political figure's daughter was dancing on TV even though he felt she didn't have talent.

Janice Cowan told investigators her husband left the living room and reappeared 20 minutes later with his shotgun, "raging" with his face bright red, and blasted the TV. She said he then pointed the gun at her and told her to go fetch his pistols, and threatened to kill himself if she brought anyone back. According to the criminal complaint, Steven Cowan's daughter recently took away his handguns for safekeeping. It did not elaborate.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

The Ballad of Coach Hess

... I can't think of anything clever to write at the moment but this has the makings of a good ballad.

Friday, November 12, 2010

No, it can't be... I just sent you back to the future!

I know, I know you did send me back to the future Doc, but I'm back, I'm back from the future.

Yes, in a few short hours it will be the 55th anniversary of the lightning strike at the clock tower which allowed Marty to return to good old 1985. Today is also the 55th anniversary of Marty's reappearance in 1955, where he reacquired the sports almanac (from 2015) that old Biff stole and gave to his younger self on, you guessed it, Nov 12 1955. It's almost as if that date in time is some sort of temporal junction point for the entire space-time continuum. On the other hand, it could just be an amazing coincidence. Nov 12, 1955 is also when Doc Brown inadvertently got sent back to 1885, as a shocked Marty watched in horror. At least he recovered the almanac, though, and prevented the time line from skewing into that horrible tangent. No, it's Hill Valley alright, although I can't imagine Hell being much worse. This was also the night of the famous 'Enchantment Under the Sea' dance, where Marty tore it up and invented Rock n Roll while also saving himself from oblivion. Wow, what a night.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

notorious life liver for the vicarious

"Knowledge without miles equals bullshit." - Henry Rollins

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Mad @ California / Prop. 19

"The #1 reason why marijuana is still illegal: nobody can remember where they left the petitions."

-George Carlin, 1973

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Quaid Damage

We need Obama to issue a presidential pardon for big Randy so he can quit hiding out in Canada, come back to Santa Barbara and fuck some more shit up.