Thursday, June 30, 2011

Possible reasons why Kevin has been AWOL for guitar practice.

1.) He’s acquired a hot, new slute and is devoting all of his resources and energy to the pursuit of nonstop buggery.

2.) He’s been practicing privately with Paco de Lucia and has completely surpassed me.

3.) He’s been banging 7-gram rocks and finishing them and he’s now face down in a ditch somewhere.

4.) He’s been busy concocting his masterwork, that being an empty blog post with no subject or content. (see previous post)

5.) Big George Minor has him in a doozy of a headlock.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Friday, June 24, 2011

This is really entertaining....

Furious, the shit-chucker spun around and faced his accuser, bellowing, “And I just want to see some fucking wrestler get nailed with some fucking shit!”

Oh and this is probably NSFW.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Read this stupid story idea from many years ago that makes no sense...

A group of total strangers wake up inside an unfamiliar structure. Surrounded by smooth, silvery surfaces on all sides, it’s unlike anything that any of them have seen before. They quickly realize that they are all dressed in an odd manner. To some, the outfits are completely foreign and mysterious. To others, it’s obvious that these people are dressed as if they came from different time periods of the past. They all speak the same language (English) and begin to talk with one another.
There is an almost immediate air of distrust to the entire situation. Conflict seems imminent. Everyone is frightened and unsure. Sideways glances are cast at every turn. Just as the scene is about to break out into total mayhem, a sound slices through the air. The uttering is vaguely musical in nature, yet organic enough that it might be mistaken for a naturally occurring timbre. The unexpected aural interruption leads all of our English-speaking actors up to one of the silver walls, which seems to be vibrating with the sound in question. One of the braver ones reaches out his hand and touches the surface. This one is Frank Kerns, a fireman from America circa 1995.
As Frank places a tentative hand against the reflective surface, the entire scene splits apart and every member of the group feels themselves harshly inserted into a small, dark room. In the middle of this room sits a computer console. It beeps periodically in a steady interval. The dull green glow of the console is magic in the eyes of some in the group--archaic to others.
Kerns of 1995 approaches the workstation and presses “Enter”, in so doing he launches a new display which contains a list of names…

I’m too tired to continue writing this story idea… essentially a group of English-speaking people from different time periods are teleported onto a flying saucer and given a mission to collect certain people. It turns out that the gathering of these subjects is a strategically designed maneuver by humans of the far future to positively influence the timeline.

New Riffs List.doc

Below you will find a riffs list from long ago when I played music in the garage at San Carpino. It would be good musical paleontology to try and figure out WTF all these riffs are:

D-Min, harmony riff, our most common "We must dispose
of these dead Baja days."
Luscious Chords
Velvet Revolver Lick
National Lampoons STP Riff, the one we've been working
on a lot lately.
BMin 3/4 Delay blues
Bmin "Oh-wo-oh-wo-oh where will I be?", turnaround D
to E7
Bmin "I want a real phat tone!", blues riff.
B->A->EMin->G picking, chorus: D-e7-G-f#7-D-e7-G-A
One For Everyone: Emin poppy hit
No Fuckin' Blues: Oldie.
"One way or another." Kevin's favorite.
Drop D, metal riff
Drum 'n' Bass riff
Kevin's rhytmic guitar riff #1
Kevin's rhytmic guitar riff #2
Mike's new cake riff: must remember this one.
GMaj7 poppy weezer riff, "00h... hoo hooo hoo!" chorus
in CMaj7->BMin->CMaj7->A7
BMin picking old "It's the measure of the man."
New CMaj7->Amin->Emin->G
What’s the new malfunction.
Melanie’s favorite Drop-D
A7 funky, Kevin freak-beat song.
New sad, amin b e, e pounding, c chorus, bad ass e funk bridge.
New evil amin B F E, amin B, Cmin Gmaj.. then Gmin… chorus C-C#Maj7 Amin G# Eb F#, C-C#Maj7 Amin G# Eb C.
Happy A, “too much, you’re eating my ice cream”
New 3/4 triplet verse to 4/4 bridge breakdown, B, Dmin, E, E, B, Dmin, E, A7
New Amin picking to C7, chorus picked: C G# F Fmin, “takes one to no one” bridge!!!
Me on keyboard, kev on guitar, Emin, AMin, F, DMin, B

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

business idea to be expanded upon

Prayer texting service...

Text your prayer to 1-800-LOVE-GOD

and our service will email it directly to God for you -- only we have His personal email address, and we're trained professionals. 

$1.99 per text, plus applicable provider rates & charges

Saturday, June 04, 2011

curse you, Santa Barbara

... for not being as climatically perfect as Honolulu. Today is definitely a pants day. Can you guys play disc golf tomorrow instead?