Friday, September 30, 2011

Protestors enjoy the taste of asphalt at "Eat the Street" rally

The financial collapse of 2008 led many Americans down a long, inedible road of worry, which has now culminated in massive daily protests centered around Wall Street. Over the past several weeks, lower Manhattans Zucotti Park has become a bit more returned to nature as protestors have taken to eating large chunks of pavement within the park to show their dissatisfaction with bankers, hedge fund managers and other associated dickholes that dominate Wall Street.

In a symbolic move to "eat The Street," protestors are striving to achieve awareness of an ever-increasing global liquidity problem by putting cement rocks in their mouths, chewing them up and swallowing them, hoping that before they are killed by stomach and bowel problems, such bizarre behavior will get the attention of congress, and perhaps some sort of weird entry into the Guinness Book of World Records.

Radiohead has also confirmed they will be giving a special "surprise" performance at the park later this afternoon. (<--this last sentence is actually true)*

*edit -- this is actually not true, but it was until an hour ago


  1. BTW... anybody see Radiohead on SNL or the Colbert Report? Its weird that they are promoting the album now instead of 6 months ago... I've had people tell me they really like Lotus Flower and just heard it for the first time on Colbert!

  2. Radiohead now operates outside the restrictions that hem in most mortal bands. They have ascended to a realm of cleanliness which allows them to make it hot, keep it hot, and ship it hot, all without compromising their art, going gay, or selling out to the man. Radiohead is one of the few sovereign entities which lies aloft above the influence of the Illuminati and the Bilderbergs. Happy Friday to all and to all a clean ski.

  3. The man in the frog costume looks like Tim Roth!

  4. Alright everybody be cool and put a piece of cement in your mouth. Not you honey bunny.