Friday, September 30, 2011

Protestors enjoy the taste of asphalt at "Eat the Street" rally


The financial collapse of 2008 led many Americans down a long, inedible road of worry, which has now culminated in massive daily protests centered around Wall Street. Over the past several weeks, lower Manhattans Zucotti Park has become a bit more returned to nature as protestors have taken to eating large chunks of pavement within the park to show their dissatisfaction with bankers, hedge fund managers and other associated dickholes that dominate Wall Street.

In a symbolic move to "eat The Street," protestors are striving to achieve awareness of an ever-increasing global liquidity problem by putting cement rocks in their mouths, chewing them up and swallowing them, hoping that before they are killed by stomach and bowel problems, such bizarre behavior will get the attention of congress, and perhaps some sort of weird entry into the Guinness Book of World Records.

Radiohead has also confirmed they will be giving a special "surprise" performance at the park later this afternoon. (<--this last sentence is actually true)*

*edit -- this is actually not true, but it was until an hour ago

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Holy FUCK! How the shit did this happen?

Where were you guys 20 years ago today? Yeah, that's right, I don't know either. Probably I was hanging out with Cameron doing whatever it was we did back then. What was it we did back then, I don't even remember. Anyway, the relevant point is that Nevermind is 20 years old today!Seriously, how the fuck did that happen? I guess it's true, we're old, and presumably increasingly less cool because of it. For those of you keeping score at home, Gish was released 20 years ago in May, and at one point was supposedly the highest selling indie album of all time. I guess 1991 was an awesome year.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Gotta have that 30 pack...

I can forgive these young men, because I know how clean that 30 pack of Tecate can be.

REM broke up....




...which is interesting because they were together for about 49 years. I havent really listened to their music much since 'Monster' so this doesnt matter so much to me. It's still somewhat sad, much how Michael Jacksons death was sad despite my contempt for mediocre R&B and child molestery. Although, after MJ died, I did find some of his music interesting in a new way (probably because I was simply exposed to more of it in his wake). Maybe it'll be the same with REM. Theres gotta be some nuggets on those post 'Automatic' albums that I can't name.

That being as it is (and this clause being as extraneous as it is), this is all just an excuse to lambast Jack White for his continued collaboration with the Insane Clown Posse. Sometimes my nagging doubt about a musician/band is vindicated in beautiful and akward ways, and I don't feel like such a jaded douche after all. Like when Gwen Stefani sold out as thoroughly as possible.

Hooray for Short ETFs


For a while I was skeptical that they didn't work, but now I know that they do.

I'm not gonna nerd out too much but I had the revelation that this is one of the ways money gets sucked up to the top - hedge funds and banks have billions to throw into short positions (bet against the market) while the average joe investor and his 401k only have the means to go 1 direction (long).

So every time enough money is dumped into the system en masse via 401ks and independent stock buyers, the hedge funds use their money to initiate a precipitous decline which wipes out average joes gains (and the hedge funds collect the difference). Its the new normal, I believe. But since the average P/E ratio of the stock market has been declining for a number of years, that means people are losing faith in the system, and who knows how much longer new buyers can be suckered in.

Then again maybe people were having this exact same discussion in the 1930s.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

But, where's the bestiality then?

PETA takes animal rights propaganda to a new level.

This sounds like the plot synopsis for some ridiculous movie that I make up in my brain as I fall asleep.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Saturday, September 17, 2011

and f**k birth!



... entering the world and space and time is a bitch.

definitely an NSFN (not safe for nobody)

Monday, September 12, 2011

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Thursday, September 08, 2011

and now for something completely different...



Kevin Pollak reading random things as Christopher Walken.

Now Henry recounts his Walken encounter.

Sunday, September 04, 2011

also, country music sucks. happy labor day!


Its the sound of stupid. Its the sound of devolution, a regression to the previous mean. I used to complain about modern rock rehashing elements from the 60s, well these fools have been warming over the same piles of shit since the 1920s. Country music isn't a taste; its the default for people who never went on to develop taste.

Much like how AM radio is the default media and Dancing With the Stars and American Idol are the default television shows, its not an individualistic decision to occupy your time with these things. They are all provided in 99% of American households on a regular basis, for free, and require no thinking or effort to obtain. So country music is not a "taste" because that word infers self-developed individuality, something obtained only after applying some effort to deviate from the norm. Enjoying country music or these other things is more like enjoying a lobotomy or subconscious instruction than enjoying an art form.

YAH!

Friday, September 02, 2011

It had to be said.

So, its a given that the economy more or less sucks right now, the markets are in the shitter and for the first time in however long, we had 0 jobs created last month. Now, Obama may not be a very effective president -- thats partly because he tries really hard to comprimise on a lot of deals, and we get a bunch of ineffectual, watered-down legislation that just benefits the same people as before, and none of the actual problems regarding our budget get fixed.

However, the Republicans have been hurling shit at Obama since Day 1, not just because he's black and a lotta their base don't like that, but also because their last president was such a catastrophe of epic proportions that they need to do everything they can to make Obama look almost as shitty by comparison (not possible, just going by the economic data). W. is going down as the next Hoover or Harding, and I think the history books will back me up on this one.

So, now we've got a lot of nothing accomplished (though I am glad Obama did reverse the ban on stem cell research -- that makes up for all the bad he's done in my mind), the rich have gotten richer, the poor poorer, and of course the blame obviously falls on Obama, since he's the president. Really, it looks to me like things will get worse before they get better, so he may not get re-elected. We just have to hope the Republicans throw up some 'tard as their nominee, and the general votership of America will be like, nah we're just not that stupid and/or crazy... sorry, guys.

Am I missing anything here? I know my viewpoint is skewed but the story seems to be a simple one that a lotta people don't want to get. I just hope they are still in the minority.

Thursday, September 01, 2011

Nah, they stingrays!



Jay Mohr and Tom Segura, my new favorite podcast.

Maybe you are asking to me, why my spirits very expensive, because they are real my friend.

Secret to political success.

So so good. I feel inspired by this greatness. Level 1 and level 2 sexual djinns are also available from the same person.

If you've never done it, go to the 'Everything Else/Metaphysical' category on Ebay and sort by price (descending). It will keep you entertained for awhile.

The Category.