Monday, December 31, 2012

Celebratory man returns in celebration.

 Yay, we won.

Sloppy Sevenths.

What I'm Going to do For New Years Eve:
              Stay home, drink beer, blast chops.

New Year's Resolution:
               Blast more chops.

Actually I just wanted to post something under the heading 'Sloppy Sevenths' so I made this up.  But it will probably accurately reflect what I do tonight/into the new year.

You don't look too torn in that picture. I've definitely been caught on camera sloppier than that. "Sloppier Than Thou" is a good name for a bar.

cyrusfx said...

Smartphones are pretty awesome, but I can't help but feel radiation start to burn my testicles every time I keep it in my pocket for more than 15 minutes.

Small price to pay for having the Yahoo Fantasy Football app. Though its been replaced with Texas Hold'Em now.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Hot Squalor

Also, here's an end-of-the-year package present for y'all, 7 trax in mp3 format that I worked on this year, and maybe a little of last. I've been trying to apply my newfound mastering capabilities to them all. So, they'll sound louder, but perhaps a lil less clean... Thats just the way it goes. And that's why I'm calling this Cyrusfx - the Dirt Hop EP. Merrrry Chaunakah! (might have to right-click save as)

Here's the entry on the website for more info:

that's a sloppy me and a cordial Paul, in front of Lotus

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Prolific Data Pipers

I got a smartphone for XMAS. It's pretty nice, but the Blogger app is a PoS and it doesn't work in a clean fashion.

Only four more to go...

So God wouldn't be familiar then.

Here is the 'uncanny valley' graph extended past the point of perfect human-likeness into the the post-human domain.  To get the original graph, just slice this one down the middle at the '100%' point on the x axis.  So is there a second uncanny valley 'mirroring' the first?  Hard to say.  Not enough post-humans around to examine.

On the other hand, '1408' starring John Cusack, was pretty great.  As Samuel Jackson says at the beginning, 'it's an evil fucking room.'  How right he was.  The script got creative with ways to make the room freak out [lame sentence]. Cusack's performance as the skeptical, jaded paranormal investigator was spot on.  The ending was a bit predictable but still satisfying. 

I watched 'The Graduate.'  It wasn't that great.  The characters were one dimensional.  There were too many montages/driving-shot segues.  The interrupted-wedding/fight-scene-ending was lame.  Mrs. Robinson wasn't attractive.  Dustin Hoffman's deadpan acting never developed any kind of momentum.  His character was kind of a douche.  Didn't like the characters, didn't enjoy disliking the characters.  I don't get the hype.

Fabricated intel fools terrified people.

Then these shitty CG renderings were concocted prior to the Iraq invasion.  None of these weapons were found.

All your base are non-existent.

Remember when Rumsfeld hyped this crap up on 'Meet the Press?'  None of these were ever found, btw.

Ya we rollin` clean to 218.

Dogtown - William Meade Projects

And some random homies on Western:

Rollin' 40s

Shape your timbre, win at life...

Buchla 200e. 

Shit's on fire.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Ya we'll do that... squalor.

"Sgt. X surveyed the expanse of death and carnage laid out before him.  Each and every body part would have to be identified, tagged, bagged and shipped off to the receiving center.  Normally this would be a task he would assign to his Corporal, but a recent tragedy of unmentionable proportions had rendered his poor assistant unable to move or pro-create.  The Sgt. lit up the soggy butt of a stogie and inhaled that first putrid blast of recently extinguished tobacco.  Bag in hand, he set off across the marsh, balancing himself on the scattered debris and foliage as he attempted to pick the flesh out of the earth..."

To maximize posts before year's end...

...let's just create new posts as comments instead of writing normal comments.

Shit Dog!

That's a lotta posts. I don't think it can be done. Here's some gang tags I found on Google Street View, while combing the hoods of L.A. for such things. Yes, that's a hobby I do in my spare, spare time now. 

If we can get 18 more posts in before the new year, we will have broken our previous record. 

Monday, December 24, 2012

New Poll at Bottom.

I think there could be something to this

Except it would have a more original title. And to make it different from the GTA series (particularly GTA San Andres), it would be more of a strategy/sim, turn-based game, where you build your gang and hood up from scratch, turn-by-turn, similar to how you build an empire in Civilization.

You first claim certain turf, recruit members and perform illicit activities so you can upgrade your arms and expand your territory. I could probably make a Civ mod that accomplishes this but I don't have that kind of time on my hands for a free product. I'd rather spend a year actually designing my own game to try to sell it. ... With a team of willing developers and writers, naturally.

Your "cities" are blocks and your new units are recruited cliques ("Young G's"). You can assign them to do different tasks or learn different specialties, like tagging, home invasion, narcotics sales or random acts of thuggery to subjugate the populace and intimidate other gang members. After making some dough, you can upgrade your knife-wielding foot soldiers to SUVs with AKs, and rims if you have the cash to blow. As your cliques age, they gain more experience in their specialty and become "OG's." You can try to dominate everybody through drivebys and street warfare or form alliances out of convenience to thwart rival gangs and the po-po.

Don't attract too much negative press and get slapped with a gang injunction though, otherwise the police start battling you on sight until you are weakened down to a single clique. Or you save up to hire a lawyer to overturn the injuction (costs a shitload of money - only 50% success rate - but you can always put a hit out on him if he loses). Potential side missions/goals galore, like completion of the Watts Towers gives you more unification among among your cliques. Producing a gold-record artist from your record studio also gives you a sweet respect bonus.

I might make a flow chart of the different game elements and how they interact and you guys can code it up for me. I know that's the first thing you want to do when you come home from work. When I have even more time to kill I'll post a detailed layout.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Has anyone else noticed that our background scheme makes every picture look awesome and vibrant?  Damn that shit pops.

And now a few months of respite before intelligent people start talking again about some new apocalyptic bullshit they don't really believe in.

Or maybe humanity has had its fill.

Friday, December 21, 2012

Thursday, December 20, 2012

I love the scene where the army is moving down the street as they unleash the fury on the advancing beast.  I imagine that would be an accurate depiction of army v. beast combat.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

3 days, 3 hours, 22 minutes remain

Yes, it's true, the apocalypse is almost upon us. That sneaky bastard, faking us out so many times over the years, only to leave us disappointed. I've got a good feeling about this one, though. Sure, the Mayans didn't seem to predict their own demise, but surely that's just because they were looking too far into the future predicting ours. Anyway, I for one hope it all fucking burns. If there's any earth left over, rest assured I'll be salting it. I was really hoping to hang out with everyone before it all went down, but Kevin doesn't seem to exist again (I swear I hung out with him a couple of months ago, but that must have just been the LSD), Cy is in Hawaii, and Josh appears to have not been in Santa Barbara for Thanksgiving. Cody was down, though, and that was awesome. So, in the event this fake Mayan apocalypse turns out to be fake, we should all hang out soon, or at least you should all take turns hanging out with me. In the event this shit is real and we all survive only to find ourselves adrift in a post-apocalyptic nightmare wonderland, we should all meet up somewhere, like maybe the log.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Friday, December 14, 2012

Life tip...

If you want to avoid an oncoming sneeze, blow your nose instead.  It works about 75% of the time.  Great tip for when you're sick and want to avoid putting any extra raw on your sore throat.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

What is the most humourous thing you did this week...

...excluding explicitly humourous things like joke telling, comedy script writing, etc?

I've been using the username 'poon' when I log on to ninjam for listening purposes.  I think that's a great name that brings real excitement to the jam environment.


It's twice as evil as 6/6/6.

Twelve: so small yet so divisible.  All those juicy intervals packed into a twelve slot space.  Lord bless this glorious number even though you have forsaken us with your absence. 

Don't forget to xxfukallfakeazzkrabzxx.

Monday, December 10, 2012

What up bloods?

Bloods be bloodin' big forever. Big up Blood Alliance. Bloodlife = A #1

Fruit Town Weeners
Dirty Worthingtons
99th St. Stoners
Lance Armstrongs


Thursday, December 06, 2012

I can smile and frown at the same time

"I'm happy man on the outside and sadman on the insides." - Mr. Johnny Carson Daly Palmer

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Let's get altered!

Here's what I use to play over a dominant 7 chord.


  • Dominant 7 arp.  (Pretty straightforward.  This outlines the basic, unaltered harmony.)
  • Dominant 7 #5 arp.  (Takes you outside a bit.  This one includes a chord tone that makes it usable with the altered scale below.)
  • Minor 7 arp. (This gives the root, #9, 5 and b7 of the dominant chord.  The #9 is nice and aggressive without sounding too outside.)
  • Diminished arp.  (A dominant arp with a raised root or b9.  Very typical, kinda boring outside sound.)
  • Minor 7 b5 up a major 3rd. (Creates a 9 chord.)

  • Mixolydian mode. (Good old fashioned diatonic insideness.  Matches up with the plain vanilla arp.)
  • Dorian mode.  (Replaces the major 3 with a #9.  Works with the minor 7 arp.)
  • Altered scale.  (This scale is the 7th mode of the melodic minor scale.  It gives you all the alterations: b9, #9, b5, #5, root, 3rd.  As such it works best with a #5 or b5 arp.  It can be confusing to use it with arps that don't contain an altered 5th.)
  • Chromatic madness.  (As long as you're playing something rythmically interesting and/or moving to/from chord tones, you can do anything with any note.  Ya.)

Monday, December 03, 2012

Something else should be up here

Its time for a new post. I need something to do while Excel undoes a slipped cell. I accidentally dragged one formula down one row, pressed control-z, and now have to wait about 10 minutes in order for it to finish "calculating" its "1 processor." Its 1% done. I am listening to the Washington Redskins game in the background but found the radio player's existence to have a negligible impact on the processing time it takes for Excel to undo one fucking little thing.

Now's the part where I brag about my massive data collection in spreadsheet form, which in addition to the fact that my computer is approaching 7 years of age, is what I expect is making the program run so slow. Its now 5% done. I'm compiling data on stock prices (ETFs), finally loading the data into the spreadsheet, now that I've made all the formulas to auto-retrieve data from the past (or future). Then I plan to feed further-refined variables into my neural network Excel add-in to see if some ETF technical events/situations are more likely to produce future gains in price than others.

There's a lot of things to take into consideration, and I suspect that I will have minimal results at first, but perhaps I can at least learn which variables are more important in predicting an outcome, and then feed more of that data into the network. As it stands I only have about 1600 lines of data; I'd like to have at least 10,000 lines. It must be all the formulas that's making Excel run slow, it will be fun to de-format them once I have all the initial data compiled. Now its 40% done. I need a new box. Here's a random picture from My Pictures:


Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Monday, November 26, 2012

Methman meets Saxman

Just another day on the Waianae coast

There's no real reason to go to that side of the island if you're haole, unless you're an avid hiker, a crackhead or an out-of-touch tourist who didn't read any travel reviews before deciding to visit Oahu.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Heh, Google said "Pussy"

 I'm taking a break from re-mastering my still-existant Reason compositions. I watched this really keen video on YouTube the other day on how to use Reason's mastering plugin to make tracks (for at least drum n bass - close enough for me) sound phat and clean. Its all about tweakin your compression and maximization ratios, apparently.

This Friday's List - most listened-to tracks since 2006

And of course this only reflects songs I listen to on my computer or iPod, that are not in mixes (mixes take up about half of my music listening time). Proud to say that only 26.7% of my Top 15 is dubstep, 13.3% is Radiohead to keep it real, and surprisingly, jazz is the big winner with 40%. The remainder is rounded out by hip hop, instrumental hip hop and Aphex Twin. Overall, I would say its a pretty strange grouping.

I wonder what Ham Rove would have to say about this... Ham Rove, your opinion please?

.... Okay, we'll just go to commercial break and give you a chance to gather your thoughts. Back after this, Ham Rove explains trickle-down economics theory and why money in politics is a good thing.


I'm trying to gain a basic understanding of how to read sheet music and play it on piano. I've got some little apps that help me learn, but it's going to take a lot of time and effort to become at all proficient. In some ways, I feel like it's a waste of time, but it's always bothered me that I can't read music. I feel like it's a realm that has been closed off to me, and I want to pop that cherry. So, what do you think? Will it be worth my while, or would my time be better spent blasting guitar chops?

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

DJing doesn't have to be just laptop scrolling and auto-syncing

I'd like to introduce you to DJ Packo, one of my fellow ex-SIQ Records-lets who is a really fuckin good hip hop dj. He's been in the scene for years, DJ'd alongside the likes of Qbert and opened for Mos Def before, worked with most of the major local hip hop bands.

But he made the switch to dubstep about 2 years ago. The results have been pretty amazing to watch and listen to live. You can hear his mixes on SoundCloud, but here he is performing at Lotus in a YouTube vid (the visuals really help), on the same stage I did about 6 months earlier.

And Fuck David Guetta. With a capital, bold f. He just plays top 40 eurotrash, jumps around with sunglasses on and looks all French for the chicks. That's what he does. In a DJ battle, Packo could spin him underneath tha mothafuckin earth.

(ps I don't know why YouTube insists on embedding my entire video playlist but thats what it does now)

Saturday, November 17, 2012

And the Verdict is IN!

And the people say, 'Ya, I'm a queer, bring it on!'

A Joyous Victory for the LGBT Community on this Holiest of Eaves!  Cleansmanship Can Now be Counted Among the Illustrious Fag Bastioned Homosanctuaries of the Early 2000s.

I must also give honorable mention to the brave soul who would be unafraid to eviscerate a rapists genitals.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Teh bygone days of teh winning.

Ahh... I creamed my jeans when I first heard this bad boy, which caused me to fiercly covet my neighbor's juarez. I can't remember if this unit also functioned as a standard sound card, or whether it had to be paired with something like a Sound Blaster for full audio coverage in games.

Remember the installers for old games where the GUI was colored ASCII, and you would get to select between one of five or so options for audio cards?

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Farming Simulator 2013

Keep those beets clean and that corn nicely squared away!

Friday, November 09, 2012

The best Tom Cruise meme of all-time.


I think its just a template for a promotional meme-making competition, but who needs words when you have small man running from flames in big mech suit?

Tuesday, November 06, 2012

The latest Intrade odds

Awww shit son. Obama be movin up, quite significantly, in addition to yesterday's 3% gain:



UPDATE: Electoral predictions as of 6:00 pm EST

UPDATE II: My L.A. homie Vin's vote. No, its not Vin Scully. But I do consider him an honorary homeboy.

UPDATE III: The post-announcement Intrade finals, 11:30 EST

You can still pick up some Romneyshares at 11 cents a pop. Whoops its 9 cents now.

Monday, November 05, 2012

Doug Stanhope's Celebrity Death Pool

Greetings potential Celebrity Death Pool Necromongers!

Below is a list of rules that will help you pick your celebrities. This is just a partial list of the rules and point system, and the complete list will be posted once the site launches.

A couple of main rules that must be adhered to are:

  1. Thou shalt not murder thy picks. Don’t be a dick. You will be punished on many levels.

  2. If you find anything on this site offensive, you are retarded. If you are offended…immediately leave this site, go away, and just let us heathens have our fun. We are not hurting anyone.
How to Play
  1. Pick twenty (20) celebrities. Per Merriam Webster’s Dictionary, a celebrity is “a famous or celebrated person.”

  2. When one of your celebrities dies, you will receive 100 points minus their age. Example – If Lindsay Lohan dies, you would receive 74 points (100 minus her age, which is 26) plus any bonus points that apply.

  3. Here are a few examples of bonus points. The complete list will be posted once the site is launched.

    • 25 Points - “Solo Pick”. Your dead Celebrity is not picked by anyone else in your pool.
    • 25 Points - Celebrity dies from an accidental drug or alcohol overdose. Confirmed by toxicology before the end of the pool year.
    • 25 Points - Dies of breast cancer in Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

  4. No animals are allowed for picks.

  5. Only 1 celebrity per pick.

  6. No celebrities on Death Row will be allowed for obvious reasons.

  7. DSCDP takes no responsibility for the death, dismemberment, harm, or diminishment of well-being of any celebrity or person.

Sunday, November 04, 2012

Why I'm still pretty certain Obama's gonna be president again

People be bettin real money on this shit, even though the biggest bid today was only worth about $40k... If it were hundreds of millions of dollars involved, I assume it would mean Obama would assuredly win the next election, but maybe Intrade is just more reflective of the internet culture and therefore has a younger bias of customers who are mainly rooting for Obama.

We should pick up a few thousand Ron Paul shares right now and try to create an internet buzz that there is a huge, unaccounted-for bloc of RP voters that do not participate in polls, and that millions of 18-21 year-olds are going to show up to vote for the first time for RP. Then we buy some more shares and try to inflate the price, selling all our shares right before election night.

Even if the RP share price rose only a few cents, you could triple or quadruple your investment.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Jokes I Can't Tell on Facebook

1. I like vomiting now. Before it just used to be a nuisance - get in the way of partying or lovemaking and would sometimes lead to crying. Now when I throw up I'm like, "All right, I just lost some weight!"

2. No matter how bad inflation gets, it still only costs $1 to see a pussy.. They may not be pleased if that's all you throw down and then walk away, but that's all that it takes.

3. Realizing that the age of consensual sex in Hawaii is 16 allows me to legally have dirtier thoughts than usual. I guess you could also bring any girl in America to Hawaii on her 16th birthday and she'd be good to go.

Also, I like the new German-friendly blog description. I hope somebody actually changed that and I don't have a virus in my computer that translates certain text to German. 

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Freestyle post

I wish I had some more astralagus
That shit regenerates the buffers of your DNA strands if you take it in high enough concentrations.
Antioxidants are good too, I need to get on those.
I also like gummy vitamins because regular vitamins (however psychosomatically) make my liver hurt.
I just don't like the idea of a big concentrated wad of vitamins and minerals in my gullet.
Also, 5-HTP and DHEA are prime choice supplements as well. They will make your body chi flow, similar to how fiber makes your bowels flow.
I might have to move back to Cali in a while. We'll see. Until then, here's 3 nice random pictures of Hawaii I took over the years. The middle one is some military defense radar ball in Pearl Harbor. Its self-propelled, came here on its own from Alaska a few years ago. 

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Peter Jackson goes big with 48 FPS 3D video and Dolby Atmos audio.

'The Hobbit' to be released in Dolby Atmos:

Has he gone too far with this tech? Does he need to calm down and stop pushing the envelope of the cinematic AV experience? Will this movie be big on technology, but small on actual quality of content?