Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Make it 160

That's Paul F. Tompkins as Richard Harrow in case you're wondering. Because he inspected the data and assured quality control-type operations for this project.

Although for some reason my graph is doing this weird all-or-nothing calculation where it counts all months with the post count below 10 as 0. Its like we simply weren't trying hard enough for it to count for those months by Excel's unreasonably stringent charting standards.

That's what I get for using Excel at home.

Monday, December 30, 2013

Only 159 posts this year.

That's 1 more than 2010.. sort of keeping the trend in tact.

Ending the year on a High note.


Has to be one of the best news headlines ever.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Fuckin Jamaal Charles

51.something points in 1 game? Not just any game, either. Fuckin Guy.

He is the first man with dreads going from left to right. All the other pictures of him on Google are pretty boring. Its funny that he's only an inch or two taller than those chicks. Pretty standard size for a running back I suppose.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Saturday, December 07, 2013

Tuesday, December 03, 2013

Songs that drift in and out of my head as of late

1. 50 Cent - P.I.M.P.
2. Fun - We Are Young
3. Michael Jackson - Beat It
4. REM - Losing My Religion
5. Herman's Hermits - Something Tells Me I'm Into Something Good

And for the last few Fridays I think to myself, "Its Friday, OMG."

Monday, November 18, 2013

FTL is my favorite game right now.

This bad boy will suck your time away, make you curse, make you rage, and make you feel like a god if you win. It proves how depth of gameplay can easily trump tech hotness.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Still not loving Police....

Things that are not good:

Loving Police.  Wasting valuable chops building time.  French subterfuge.  Most hip hop

Things that are good:

The Stanley Parable and Gone Home.  Exploiting your large hand size to play massive chords.  Obama's diplomatic skillz.  Kurt Rosenwinkel.  The imminent release of Cloverfield II.  Ghost movies that are actually scary. 

As you can see the good outweighs the bad and thus encourages optimism.

Saturday, November 09, 2013

Friday, November 08, 2013

Monday, October 28, 2013

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

He is Vigo.

Your Craw Wurm is like the buzzing of flies to him.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Hot Carl

Netless Jimmy

That's me. I still don't have the Internet. But enjoy this random pic from my iPod. 

Monday, October 07, 2013


Oh unclean Mongay, how I loathe your loathsome softness. Oh most sullied Mongay, filthiest day of teh weekski. Yeah.

Saturday, October 05, 2013

Money For Nothing

Probably the greatest rock intro of all time. It builds and builds to a huge blast and then cuts into Knopfler's quintessential guitar riff, which shaped my mind during the formative years of yor.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Back to the datahouse grind.

I wrangled me a job through the most bizarre of circumstances which I don't feel comfortable discussing publicly but it will make for a good story some day.

Gonna try hard not to blow it, seemingly one of my last chances to join the human race.

(Visual content redacted. It's the professional thing to do.)

Bizarre organic video game controller nubs are almost here...

Thanks, Valve.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Where's that Doug?

Where you at, Doug? Just wanted to make sure you haven't pulled a Walter White on us.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

I cant believe Im losing to footbot.

My football knowledge and related skills have softened immensely.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Friday, September 06, 2013

Friday, August 30, 2013

The best scene from Birdemic

I mean, its got some great scenes, but this was probably the best. I can't suppress the annotations.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

I can't / can believe I never heard of this

Hailed as one of the best worst movies ever made. The whole thing is on Youtube. I'm gonna watch it but I have to watch Birdemic first.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Welcome back to the Crabfeast y'all

Tribute to one of my favorite podcasts. It gets funnier as it goes along. A bunch of pitch touchin intros strung together. It took me 3 hours to put this together and for the rest of the day I've been walking around by myself going, "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..."

Thursday, August 22, 2013

The Altered Scale...

Making dominant 7 chords come alive since the mid twentieth century.

1, b9, #9, 3, b5, #5, 7.  Then you win at sound.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Sex And Bear Violence

Coming to a high-def presentation center near you, July 2017.


We still have the ability to meet or surpass for this year, but don't let that be license to spam with fluff posts. We're all about substance here.

New poll at bottom.

Monday sucks... it's almost upon me.

Cleansmanship the Fantasy Football League returns!

For its second consecutive season. You should somehow communicate your email address to me if you'd like to join, unless you're Co and I already sent you an email invite. Draft orders need to be set by Sept. 1st! Go big or go clean or go soft.

one of the first Google Image search results for "NFL heat"

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Midweek Mind Melter

I'm feeling so pwned by the grindenheimer. What can I do to lift my spirits?

Friday, August 09, 2013

Re: Reformatism

I don't think we need the share buttons, is anybody really sharing our posts on Twitter or Facebook?

I see the comment section now so that's good. The first few times I loaded the new layout that section and the dropdown layout section wouldn't appear, but they do now.

The best "selfie" ever taken.

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

I'm reformatting like gangbusters.

They have some cool new dynamic templates, so I'm buggering things up nicely. You can now select your desired layout when you go to view the blog via the drop down in the upper left.

Is the breakout VR tech finally upon us?

...or do we still not have the size?



Saturday, August 03, 2013

Keepin it simple...

"The most popular password was 1234, but the amount of times this number occurred 'staggered' the researchers - almost 11 per cent of the 3.4 million passwords were 1234."


3 years later, Cleansmanship climbs 12 spots in the rankings

I was looking for the best of our blog pictures to potentially make memes with and I noticed this post written 3 years ago + 1 day. We've come a long way since then. We are now the 4th best blog for fighting, according to whatever shitty algorithm compiles this data.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

What if I could collect some Bigfoot DNA of my own?

Joe Rogan Questions Everything, although its safe to say some things don't really need to be questioned.
Joe Rogan you are Bigfoot, you Italian sasquatch mothafucka.
Spoiler Alert: he doesn't collect the DNA.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Comedy Bang Bang!

And my favorite meme of the year from How Did This Get Made?

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Thursday, July 18, 2013

No matter how great your triumps, or how low your defeats...

...Tom Cruise is out there doing something with extreme intensity right now.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

This movie really happened.

Am downloading it right now. My good friends at How Did This Get Made covered this movie in their most recent podcast episode. I think I'm going to have to watch it and listen to the podcast again so I can fully understand the depth of their burns.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Summary of the Post Zimmerman Trial Internet Debate....

Commenter 1: "Trayvon Martin!  Racism is bad!"

Commenter 2: "NSA! Problems with the Gov't are more important!"

BTW, I don't have an opinion on the verdict.  Shit's just entertaining.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Here's a hi-res GIF of a dog catching a snowball

Have you guys watched any of the VICE documentaries? They are a magazine out of Canada that does really good exposes on international fucked upedness. They also have an HBO show that just concluded its first season. I highly recommend it, for people who can't or choose not to travel anywhere but want to be reminded that America isn't all that bad. Their best documentary I saw so far was about General Butt Naked and the cannibal warlords of Liberia.. Fascinating stuff.

Tuesday, July 02, 2013


Gleaming the essence of what it means to be clean. I still find vodka products to be disgusting, however.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Flaming Hard

I haven't seen a Cleansmanship flame war this heated since the great stock prediction argument of yesteryear. My recommendation: Let go of the desire to convince your fellow cleansman, and silently move on, confident in your own perception of truth and reality. Now here are some ligers to break the spell...


Can you tell the difference between a bad actor taking an unnatural beat and a normal person taking a natural but awkward pause?

Can you tell the difference between the forced grimace of a bad actor and the natural grimace of a person yielding before the pain induced by the words they have just spoken?

Can you tell the difference between the overwrought lines of the bad actor and the natural speech of a normal person?

Can you tell the difference between a mood 'change' that belies the bad actors real attitude beneath the performance, that signifies AN OBVIOUS BREAK IN CHARACTER (see Carlee Soto and her straightening up & forced sigh-frowns) and a genuine mood change in a normal person in reaction to the real and unexpected changes in their immediate environment?

Can you distinguish (genuine) reality programs from scripted programs?

Can you recognize the difference between quality and poor acting?

Can you tell the difference between the objects in front of the fire and the shadows cast on the wall?

[In Plato's 'Allegory of the Cave' the real objects are the objects cast in the light of the sun outside the cave.  I had to tweak the allegory a bit so it would fit the image because I couldn't find a quality image that depicted the outside objects.]


Wax sculpture of Tom Hanks from Castaway.

And now for something completely different...

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Oh shit, they really are actors...

Especially steamy filth begins at about 1:10. Notice the unnatural pauses and awkward, forced frown-sighs.  It doesn't get much worse than this.  Would you cast her for this role? Does she invoke any kind of empathetic response in the viewer? When she asks 'who am I  introducing?' under her breath, what she is really saying is 'I want out.'  I wish some people in Newton would blow the whistle on this BS. 

Here is good ol' Robbie Parker again (six hours after his daughter was allegedly killed in one of the worst school massacres in American history) Again, does he invoke an empathetic response in the viewer?  Or are you thinking, 'Thanks for coming out Robbie....NEXT...':

More glaring feces:

Monday, June 24, 2013

I'm not saying Mitt Romney would have been better, but this is getting ridiculous...

What's coincidental is that I had only heard about the possibility that the government was storing records of all calls & emails sent in the U.S. in a giant data facility maybe only 2 months before the whole Snowden fiasco went down. At first I thought it was unlikely but definitely possible; now I think its very likely.

For further LOLs on the subject, click this link:


Saturday, June 22, 2013

Norm Macdonald loses the ManGrate as a sponsor

Its surreal.. Like he read the YouTube comments about his first ManGrate commercial or something.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Vinnie Jones wants to fight your city's gangbangers

This show reminds me a lot of the Russell Crowe Show.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Andrew WK drumming for 24 hours straight...

At the time of this posting he is about 6 hours into the marathon.

UPDATE:  Coming back at 11 hrs. in, I notice that Andrew has a set of white 'beats' headphones on and he's upped the tempo and energy level.  He seemed like he was shrewdly pacing himself earlier, but now he's getting a bit more comfortable with the rocking.

UPDATE:  I am now using Andrews backing tracks for chops blasting (arpeggios mostly).