Wednesday, April 03, 2013

Great video game art of yore...

 Oh it's for the Jaguar, I get it.
 Notice the disturbing, Sea Monster like appearance of his maw.
 I imagine this game pitted the player against a satisfyingly diverse array of enemies.
 Thank god they didn't cop out with arcade style physics.
 This just doesn't make any sense.
 The game is the cartridge!  Sega was so meta back in the day.
Your wife's 1st graders are an inexhaustible supply of royalty-free cover art for your next gaming franchise.

 Apparently this game is all about the dog.
 Go ahead and stare at that dude for 3 minutes straight. It feels good.
At least it says 'Megablast.'


  1. Those are really funny, Doug.

    Total Star Wars storm trooper rip off in the lower left of the 'Crack Down' cover.

  2. Alternate names for each game, from top to bottom...

    The Moon Base of Doctor Moreau

    Timothy Fangshadow: The Feline
    Face-Eating Detective

    Satan Storm

    Alex Kidd in Rod World

    The Adventures of Young Shinobi

    Caddy Assassin 2K13

    iBat Mini

    Mech Queerior

    Kevin Costner: Against The Wild

    Tardish McFag's Soft Skateboarding

    High-Yield Pixel Fishing: Bottom Feeder Edition

    Most of those aren't as good as the actual titles, but I was bored.

  3. Crack down takes the cake for it's extreme 80's era over-the-topness. I wanna play Ninja Scooter Simulator even though I'm sure it would be really disappointing.

  4. In Soft Skateboarding you have full pads and a helmet and the object is to successfully skate down a straight path for 10 yards. That already takes up 7.5 MB of memory so each level is the same but a different color and you skate slightly faster.