Better than the Internet.
1.) Is that even possible?2.) Don't die.3.) I never do that anymore.4.) It doesn't so much deflate the soul as it does make you generally soft.5.) Nice. Kudos for trying to also plays keys.6.) Sounds like the human genome project, but harder.7.) No, Roy. Don't go, Roy.8.) Money is good for sandwiches, beers, and buying games on Steam.
A.) Not drinking too much. (Already starting off the year with a fail in this department, but then again, who isn't?)B.) Regular exercise at the gym. (But it feels so good to be sedentary sometimes.)C.) A patient, better driver. (Patient is not going to happen. The best part of my day is probably all the horrible obscenities I blurt out when encountering sub-par drivers. That, and all the horrible filth I blurt out whilst ogling slutes by the roadside.)D.) The ability to laugh at weakness. (I always thought this lyric was "The ability to laugh at neatness." I think it's better and more obscure my way.)
9. Meet David Deutsch in person.10. Achieve immortality.